Are you your worst critic?

Brief:

I was casually browsing through Quora.com today and this conversation caught my attention related to “are you your worst critic”?, as something similar used to happen in my mind before I learnt NLP from the Best NLP Trainer in India – Ridhima Dua and completed my Online NLP Certification in affiliation with NLP Academy under her mentor-ship. Here is the conversation, which is the response written by Bijan Riazi-Farzad, Psychologist, Yucan.co.uk to the question.

Are you your worst critic?

In the boardroom of my mind, there are many inner critics:

• One of them says “you take life too seriously” whilst another one says, “you don’t take life seriously enough.”
• Meanwhile, one of them says,” take rest” and the other says, “you haven’t done enough to deserve a rest yet”
• A part of mind says, “why don’t you answer that question asking ‘Are you your worst critic?’ on Quora?” and another part says, “why don’t you stop procrastinating?” Another says, “That’s not procrastination. On the contrary, it is a) being prompt and b) making a contribution (being useful).
• Half of your mind says, “you should do more exercise.” And another half says, “You’ve got that scheduled so stop thinking about it.”
• Logical mind says, “you should read more” and emotional mind says, ”you should write more.”
• 50% of your mind says, “you are supposed to be a psychologist, so isn’t it hypocritical for you to be so conflicted inside?” And another 50% answers, “This is the human condition and I need to understand it thoroughly otherwise I will not be able to empathize and, thus, help my clients.”

Have you had such a boardroom inside your mind?

Ok, maybe not a boardroom, but you are definitely aware of a voice inside your head. We have heard that we should listen to the “Voice Inside” when we make our decisions.

What they intend to say is that listen to the voice of your Conscious- the one which tells you which is right and which is wrong?

However, have you struggled with identifying the voice inside, is it the voice of conscious or is it the devil?

One which is asking you to do things which you will regret later? And then there is the voice of regret itself. What does this voice say to you?

“Why did you do it?”

“You are so stupid!”

“Could have thought about it a bit before you did/said it..”

And you know how confusing it gets, trying to understand if this voice is your voice of right and wrong, or just a voice pulling you down. 

Let me help you make this a little bit simpler. There is not one but many voices that you have inside. Each of them serves a separate and important purpose. One has a strict tone and one has a sad tone.

One speaks loudly, and one whispers to you. And amidst all of them, you also have a voice that is in control, the one who can bring order in all this chaos.

What are your thoughts on above? Do you think that “are you your worst critic”?

As I am into the second month of my training for New Code NLP, I have come to love the verbal package and voice process given by Carmen Bostic St Clair, co-developer of New Code NLP along with John Grinder and Michael Carroll. 

This technique brings total harmony between all these voices, and creates team-work between them.

When we work with this technique, we discover the purpose of each voice.

It is brilliant to uncover so many layers within myself and the processes of my own mind with this technique.

For those who have not learnt this technique yet, I can say that when you become aware of the different voices and the subtle differences in how they speak to you, is the most important first step to bring harmony.

And the next step is to create a dialogue with one voice alone at a time. 

You can experience this first hand, by writing to our team of coaches at connect@i-flame.in